FRM OnDemand · Pod assignment
No one in your pod manages your growth.
They help you stop hiding from what you said you would practice.
This is the assignment that replaces the assigned pod in the live cohort. It is the single highest-leverage thing you will do in OnDemand, and it is the one thing nobody can do for you.
Why it matters
Practice that nobody can see tends to stop.
Not because you lack discipline. Because a private commitment has no friction when you break it, and the weeks when you most need the practice are exactly the weeks you will quietly skip it.
A pod adds one small consequence: somebody will ask.
Who to ask
Two or three men. Not your closest friends by default.
Ask
- A man who follows through on small things
- A man who will ask a direct question
- A man who is also a father, ideally
- A man who can keep something to himself
Do not ask
- A man who will tell you it is fine
- A man who competes with you
- A man who will turn it into advice
- Your wife or partner — she is not your accountability
- Recommended sizeThree to four men.
- Meeting cadenceA short check-in each week, and one longer session each month.
The invitation
Say it plainly.
Do not oversell it. Do not explain the whole program. Most men say yes to a small, specific ask and no to a vague large one.
“I’m doing an eight-week thing on being a better father. Nothing weird. I need two guys who’ll get on a call with me for twenty minutes every week and ask whether I did what I said I’d do. That’s the whole ask. You in?”
The four questions, every week
- What did you practice this week?
- Where did you drop below the line?
- What did you repair, and how long did it take you?
- What is the one thing next week gets?
The one agreement
What is said in the pod stays in the pod. No exceptions, including with spouses. Without that, men tell you the version that sounds good.
If nobody says yes
That is information, not failure.
Some fathers find they cannot name two men to ask. If that is you, notice it without shame — and then take it seriously, because it is probably the most important thing this assignment surfaced.
Three options that are all legitimate:
- Run the four questions solo, written, same day each week. Weaker, but real.
- Ask one man rather than three. One is enough.
- Consider the live cohort, where the room is provided. See FRM Live.
Pod start checklist
- Name the two or three men.
- Send the invitation. Today, not after module one.
- Agree a day and time. Put it in the calendar as recurring.
- Agree the confidentiality rule out loud.
- Run the four questions in week one, even if nobody has done anything yet.
