Fathers Raising Men
The Confidentiality Agreement
You are going to hear things in this room that men do not say out loud.
A father will describe the moment he sounded like his own father. Another will say something about his marriage he has not said to anyone. Another will admit he does not like his son very much right now.
None of that is possible unless every man here is certain it stays here.
This is the agreement that makes it possible. Read it once, properly. Then sign it at the bottom.
What stays in the room
Everything another father says. Specifically:
- What he shares about his son, his wife or partner, his family
- What he shares about his own father
- What he admits about his behaviour
- His name, his face, his voice, where he lives, what he does for work
- The fact that he is in this room at all
You do not repeat it. Not to your wife. Not to a friend who does not know him. Not as a story with the names changed. Not as a prayer request.
If you are unsure whether something is covered, it is covered.
What you may take with you
Your own material, always. Your story is yours to tell.
The frameworks, the practices, the questions. Use them. Teach them to your son. Use them at work.
What you learned about yourself by listening to another man — the insight, not the incident. “I realised I do the same thing” is yours. The thing he described is not.
What I cannot keep confidential
I would rather be straight with you than promise something I cannot hold.
I will break confidence if I believe there is a serious risk of harm to you, to a child, or to another person. That includes disclosures of current abuse of a child. I will also comply with a lawful order if I am ever required to.
Outside of that, nothing you say to me leaves me.
If you are carrying something in that category, I would rather you tell me directly than not at all. I am not going to handle it alone and I am not going to pretend I did not hear it. I will help you find the right support.
Recording
Sessions are not recorded unless I tell you in advance and you agree.
You may not record — audio, video, or screenshot — at any time. No exceptions, including for your own notes.
If a session is ever recorded for someone who could not attend, I will say so before we begin, and anyone who does not want to be recorded can stay off camera or step out.
What this is, and what it is not
Fathers Raising Men is leadership and practice work for fathers. It is a group, not therapy.
I am not a licensed therapist, and this is not treatment for trauma, addiction, mental illness, or a marriage in crisis. It sits alongside that work. It does not replace it.
If something surfaces that needs clinical support, I will say so plainly and help you find it. That is not a failure. That is the system working.
If the agreement is broken
If you break confidentiality, you are out of the cohort. There is no warning step and no partial version of this.
I am telling you now so that it is not a surprise later, and so that every other man in the room knows the rule has weight.
What I agree to
The same standard applies to me.
I will not repeat what you say. I will not use your story as an example without asking you first and accepting no as an answer. I will not share your name or your participation with anyone.
If I want to quote something you said, I will ask, and you can say no without explaining why.
The short version
- What is said in the room stays in the room.
- What you learn about yourself goes with you.
- I will break that only to prevent serious harm.
- Recording is not permitted.
- Breaking it ends your place in the cohort.
Sign it
Add your name.
Signing tells the other men in the room that the rule holds for you too. It takes about ten seconds.
